Thursday, September 1, 2011

Gestational Diabetes

So, I will start this entry with something funny before I get serious. Lately Maya has gotten into the habit of coming up to one of us and saying, " hey (fill in the blank), did you know I could do this?," and then she either does or shows you something new that she can do. Today it was, "Hey, Mom, did you know I can fit two fingers in my belly button." No, I did not, but I guess I do now. How many fingers can you fit in your belly button? :)
Also, I caught her doing the "robot" in the car yesterday. She was doing the weird, jerky arm movements as she said in a monotone voice, "my name is Maya. I am a robot." I have no idea where she learned it, but it was hilarious!

Ok, on a more serious note: It is official, I have gestational diabetes. I am so upset over the whole thing. Truly, I thought that I would pass that second test with flying colors, but that was not the case. Next week I have to meet with a nutritionist and then the gestational diabetes specialist who will show my how to test my blood sugar. I know that there are many women who have had and have to deal with this in their pregnancies, but I still think it sucks. Honestly, the worse for me isn't even having to watch what I eat and prick my finger, but the worry and stress over the health of my unborn daughter. I can't help but research like crazy about this disease, read the possible side effects it can have on the baby, and just stress and panic. On top of all of that, I have an overwhelming feeling of guilt. Guilt in that I can't provide a healthy, safe place for my unborn baby to grow. Guilt that I had done something wrong. I know that isn't really true, that it isn't something I did, but I still feel that way.
It has only been a day since I found out the news and am still trying to wrap my head around it. I need to get over the emotional distress of it all so that I can start to take care of it. Most of all, I know that I need to trust that God will protect my child, better than I ever could, and need to rest and have peace in that truth. As always, your prayers are appreciated as I approach this new hurdle in pregnancy. Just 11 weeks to go. We can do this.

1 comment:

  1. You're going to do so well, and Sydney is going to be healthy and happy! You would only have to stress about this if your diabetes went unnoticed or untreated. It's all going to work out well. You know that God has a purpose for Sydney and that He's taking care of her.

    Love you!